Your telling me its the fourth day & you have nothing to report?!

I thought I had no ideas at first for what to say for today & then I realised I guess I have SOMETHING to an extent. My Computer Networks module got sorted out today during the afternoon after the Data Structures practical I'm doing (more programming crap, but at least this time its only 1 programming module out of the 4 I'm doing).

So basically I cant do Wednesdays for work, and that only really leaves Tuesdays for me at the moment. Or at least until I try & find a way of seeing they can open Fridays again as I still find it stupid for what their doing.

I'm quite pleased at the fact that during Monday I lost most hope of ever seeing people I'd know for most of the modules this year but thankfully as the week has gone along it seems most of us are in fact doing most of them again. Its not just because of that because its good to know we can support & help each other out again especially since almost most of the modules this semester involve group work of sorts.

Third day: A-ok!

I'll keep this post short as well so that I dont go on too much & not lag around too late for bed either.

Things seemed to go quite well today especially after last night seemed an unknown hassle as my grandmother was taken to the hospital because of her hernia problems. It turns out the doctors didn't realise she's been coping with it for the past 40 YEARS! I think there was some mix up with new doctors and so on & they wanted to operate on her. My grandmother didnt want that in any way - considering she's been coping with it for those years now. Well to cut a long story short she's back home now and everythings fine just as I guessed.

So I finally decided upon what the hell I've decided to do for the network module & I decided to add it as I wasn't sure how many was the limit & I decided to play it safe so fuck it for Wednesdays working. I'll try & find a way to do Fridays as well if I can, so far Tuesday is on the cards for definate and by the end of the week I'll let work know. The only hassle at the moment is that I've had to add the module as a late addition so I really hope the module leader for that course actually does add it to my list of modules in the end otherwise I dont know what happens after next week as supposedly it finishes by the end of this week. Apparently he'll be able to sort it out so like I said I really do hope its added without any hassle of any form filling & travelling around. I should had kept the damn thing on my timetable & contemplated by the end of the week. Maybe next time for next year I'll keep that in mind.


Everything seemed to come together quite well today which I was very pleased about. By the time I had finished there everything felt good. Luckily I was still able to make it to see Clerks 2 in the evening which I really wanted to see still as I'm still surprised its got a UK showing after this long, if at all. So that concluded the evening very well seeing that & I've been well excited to see it again since the Vue cinema in Oxford finally listed it there.

Once again I really, really hope this module gets added without any problems otherwise its going to be a pain to fix for only 2 days left.

P.S. I just had another thought as well about the gaming thing from a few days back. Maybe its best not to get any more games for a while if I'm to start university modules again and coming from 5 of those modules no less so I'll see how bad my studying habits get this time round. Would be nice if it made a difference which it might.

Uni Day 2 - How did it all go?

It wasn't all that bad today, I didnt have a lecture until 5pm but had the same type of problem with the bus. It should be better next week hopefully as on Tuesday's I'll work until 2pm & get the uni bus straight from town which should take out all of that other hassle when it goes to the campus.

I'm still thinking about my Wednesday's as I'm not entirely sure if I should take that computer network module or not. I'll definately check it out tomorrow as the main idea of this week. I suppose I should be happy with just working 1 day in a week, but for some reason this time round it doesnt seem enough, probably because of whats happened with my Fridays means I'm not used to that and also since things have taken a different route there makes me feel I need to do a bit more.

Ideally I'd like to leave out this computer network thing but I keep thinking about the number of modules that are needed in a certain amount of time and....well I dont really need to explain that other than basically saying that I'm unsure if I'm OK to ignore this one or not. I find that 5 modules is going to be too much, actually it will be next semester as well because of my maths retake but I cant honestly see myself doing this networking module regardless.

The return of university hassles

I returned to university today, I can see myself draining into this type of void again like with semester 1 last year where everything felt chaotic. Its bad enough that the university bus service doesnt go straight to the campus like it did last year so I have a bus card that I feel I've wasted money on.

I dunno I just feel crap again after university, sometimes that place feels like such a hassle. I think I'm just going to rely on myself more often than having to go through what everyone else is doing again as I dont think I'm going to see everyone else as often as it was like last year. I'm probably too hasty at the moment about everything as its only today for my return so I'll see how the week goes so far.

I've also been looking through my timetable & I think I've figured what I can sort out in between work. I may in fact be better off doing Tuesday as well as Wednesday which is a good outlook to say the least, especially to work twice during the week, I was never able to really do that before. I cant honestly seeing myself doing all that well again this year other than the multimedia and professional issues & skills modules which are more of my forte. I know I'm too hasty but I cant say university is all that good than compared to the college course I had. I feel no sense of freedom here.

Next game woes & the week ahead

You may have noticed recently that most of my current posts seem to be lacking any "Currently playing" bits at the bottom, the truth is I still need to get a damn game because it sometimes feels weird when I dont have anything to play as it makes me feel I'm missing out especially on the list of games I still want.

I was thinking of finally getting Mario Kart DS but at the same time I'd like a wireless router to try out the online gaming for it. I know I dont need one just for that as I can buy a USB wireless device but if I'm going to get that Philips laptop I still want I might as well have it for general use. Most likely what I'll do instead is just buy the game as normal & see when I get round to doing the online thing so that might as well wait for the moment. I know that its supposed to be a good feature as well for online multiplayer (actually more than good!) although the time will come I'm sure.

I just realised I really should get into the habit of making blogs in the morning just after I wake up because this library atmosphere at work is quiet enough for anyone to concentrate - well at least it is BEFORE the damn students arrive. I never realised how bad it is when its the beginning of term, new students simply "run a muk" and takeover the place. University is no different either, I still need to get my Students Union card there today and I know the whole place will still be a mess. Urgh, I just dread the bus going back home again. Oi vey!

I thought last week was technically my last Friday - I was wrong, it seems like today is. I'm going to be somewhat relieved once I'm back at uni to be doing once a week again here. I have no problem with doing full weeks here like I have this past month, but I'm a bit bored of having to explain the same stuff to people about whats happened with the course etc. Because it doesnt help that my workmate is doing different roles now. Its not really a good thing in terms of not him being here all the time, but the thing is I dont know how worse its going to get for him once the months progress. At the same time thats why I'm pleased I'll be doing this only once a week so I dont have to constantly explain to people whats happening as at the end of the day I cant do everything here, and there's certain things I have no idea about which is where he comes in for that. The problem is explaining to people WHEN he is on site because he's not always here for a full day.

Well anyway I'm relieved to an extent I'm going back to my usual university routine again as it feels long overdue now. I cant believe its year 2 already, last year was such a damn struggle as well. I swear I'm really going to miss all of this once its gone as its not far off until I have to suffer through full time employment in about 2 years time or so. I can just tell nothing will change by then. My only hope is knowing I'm still in this job or something that I dont have to worry about as a typical job. I dont want to resort to those mornings again when I dreaded waking up to a job I didnt enjoy going to. This is the first job I can safely say that I never dread coming to or have problems thinking about when I wake up in the mornings.

Like I said before I know it'll end some day, but I want something as an alternative that makes me feel the same way as it did for here.

Another cartoon remake - but of a different kind

I saw this on IGN yesterday I think it was & I briefly saw somewhere that it was coming back or being shown again. What am I talking about? I'm referring to the Anime cartoon the Guyver.

I remember seeing this back on the Sci-Fi channel a few years back, back in the early days of having cable in fact. Actually it might have been back in 97 or 98 - I reckon the latter though. Well anyway it seems like they've made some sort of remake of it. I'm not sure how different it is but the animation looks much clearer than before and has a slightly differnt style to it, only minor though. I dont remember an awful lot of it either only other than the Guyver fighting off Zionoids (or however its spelt). I'm certain I remember seeing the final episode of the original cartoon & it didnt seem to have an actual conclusion from what I remember of it. So thats why I'm not entirely sure if it was the final episode.

Actually from just reading around on some sites it seems like as if that was cancelled halfway through which might explain why it felt the rest was very untold. Hopefully this new one will cover more on it. I wonder when it will feature on TV over here in the UK?

Why do I still have these dreams?

This is what I forgot to mention today after the dream I had last night. I basically had this weird dream that Jessica sent me one of those small DVD-R discs (the 8cm- 1.4GB sized ones) which she sent me as a gift and it said in her letter it was stuff for me. So I put the disc in the DVD player and I began to see certain footage of her. It was quite a mixture of things, some stuff at the beginning looked like some stuff she took with a camcorder where she was speaking to her dad in the car. Then it swiped to some footage of some TV appearances she did, mainly on foreign TV, I think Germany in fact. I remember it was stuff of her on chat shows in which they were interviewing her about something she did there. Then they showed the clips of some film she was on there promoting for but you could tell it wasn't a Hollywood moview or anything, it looked more like a low budget movie she did for Germany.

So some of this stuff carried on in my dream until I woke up from it. First and foremost I dont get why I get dreams of her more often then when I used to back in the day when we were in a deeper relationship. Back then I can only recall 2 dreams I ever had throughout that time. Yet now I see her again with my negative attitude towards everything this time round and all of a sudden it feels like as if there's a dream about her once every 2 months or something maybe? Its really odd and the things is I haven't seen her in a whole week again so my thoughts about her have been the very minimal.

I know that she's always wanted to be a "pop star" so maybe thats a hidden message? Or maybe she's really a minor celebrity in disguise after all this long? Ok thats probably going a bit too far probably because I've been watching YouTube too much & the whole recent drama over the Lonelygirl15 thing with people's opinions have interested me, and I suppose that's what reminds me of the dream as well. I'm certain the dream has no meaning like all the others I've had anyway so its something else to disregard. Sooner or later I wont be able to remember it as vividly anyhow. Maybe its a preminition that she's finally getting the dream she's always wanted? Nah thats thinking too far probably.....

Little styles

I dont know what relevance that topic has for an entry but I just thought of it & it sounds good so I'm sticking with it.

Nothing really to report as usual, the library is 'hella' busy with students. Do you ever get those days when you work in general and everything feels busy or crowded? I suppose since its Wednesday as well adds to that.

I noticed today that IGN have their own blog boards which I found weird. I'm thinking of registering just to see what the place is like as I thought of making stuff related to gaming. Whether or not it works out as planned is another thing considering I really only get involved with blog entries either during boring times at work or late night before I go to bed as a sudden last minute thing to do when I forget that I've yet to do an entry. I just find it weird for IGN doing a blog service and it seems like any category applies whis is even more odd considering their a gaming site. But I digress, I'll still give it a try & it may even encourage me to talk about gaming more specifically for those boards. Or I may just register in general to see what its like.

This doesnt mean I'll be deserting this place however, because even though the MySpace one was tempting, that place feels more open and public. For some reason this place still feels a little private and I have a feeling my entries aren't looked at by many people either.

two places at once

I sometimes get those days when I dont realise I've worked for that day or that I've been to university for that day either. Today was one of those exceptions.

I only worked until about 2.30pm today because of the special students that come on Tuesday's from now on so we have to technically close the place just for them. Thankfully they're not that bad to work with, I think originally in the descriptions they gave us it felt as if they were criminals or ASBO students prior to them starting so we always got the impression it would be worse than what it was.

Also today I needed to get some university stuff sorted, my friend told me online last night that the enrolment payments need to be done by the end of the week or something and I needed to get my new bus pass by then as well. I'm guessing I was probably at university for about 2-3 hours yet it felt like I did more there than I did at work. Most likely because I was waiting around for things and going to different parts to get each bit done.

Once I was done with that I had to wait for about an hour in total for that damn Brookes Bus to arrive, I swear its always the worst at the beginning of the new semester. The first one came within half an hour which was already full up & only allowed a few more to enter. Luckily the second one was enough for the rest of the bust stop. Unfortunately I cant really say much good things for the driver, I mean she really fucked up.

To begin with she totally missed the stop to pull in to at the university so she literally stopped at the opposite end. Then to make matters even worse she completely disregarded one of the stops just before my one and they basically had to get off at my actual stop & walk back. A lot of us presumed she was new but even so thats definately not a good way of missing stops like that. Where the hell was her training for a start?

If this is what the bus companies are coming to by cutting corners then gord help us all....

Creative ideas

I was thinking just now about how uncreative I feel even though I'd love to have something to make me be like it. I guess in my head I always feel like I am, but in reality I cant say I have anything I can call my own or something I've wanted to do in my head.

It made me think of it while watching YouTube yet again and how people have developed along the way since the past few months like in the summer. Its quite astonishing as well, then I wonder what I could do. I mean ok I have a half-assed boring blog and a new idea with adding drawings at the end of them but I've never been a fantastic drawer either.

I dunno, I suppose I've never gotten down to really doing it just yet even though I like doing stuff like that & the reason why I want to do more of it at uni rather than damn programming because to me programming doesnt give you a massive feat of creativity in the same way (at least not entirely visually). Or maybe its because I cant get to grips with it 100%.

I suppose I get this impression that in order to be like that you need to always have it since you were young and I guess thats not entirely true as thats also how we learn about things along the way. I also think because of time and doing other things at the moment slightly prevent it and even as I get older I might get into it a bit more.

Settled ahead

I decided the best thing rather than worrying what the hell is becoming of me with is job is to just take a back seat & carry on as usual with what I'm doing which includes university next week as well.

I'll just go ahead with uni & see what I have available and carry on from there. As for here I'll just have to see what happens when the time comes because I really cant afford to be thinking too much here while working hard at uni. Last year very much became that when working here once a week I didnt feel as involved here because of what was happening at uni. Thats not in a bad way, its how it became with assignments and I remember working on some stuff while being here.

Obviously the situation now is a little harder and awkward due to the situation, but thats not really my problem or my responsibility as I'm not the boss of this place so I'll let the fate happen when it happens. For this week I can go through the usual (provided it doesnt go overboard on me like last week gradually did) and carry on with uni next week. At least once I settle in everything should be fine, I think its the unknown at the moment which is the slight pain.

Adding my [crappy] style

I never had time to mention this yesterday (or this morning from my last post...or something) I finally bought a tablet pen. I tried one out briefly at work once & it seemed ok but that didnt seem enough to fully experience its effects. I saw one at Tesco for a good few months now priced at £22 which encouraged me more to get it sooner or later. I think I just wanted it more than anything to experiement and probably encourage me to start drawing random poorly drawn cartoons again like I used to. I'm not sure why but as I got older I just stopped doing them, I guess age ranges do gradully do that to you.

By yesterday I finally bothered to get it as I've began to have this idea of adding some sort of cartoon monologue bullshit thing at the end of some posts. It'll probably turn out lame but I thought it'd be an interesting quirk like a sum up of my post in cartoon form.

Plus after a while I'm certain I'll pick up the ways of using this tablet as well as getting better experience of what to do.

Nothing to worry about yet folks!

So yesterday (or the day before actually because of the time) was probably a little too soon for stuff to happen. But how would you feel when you've been working a full week knowing that the place is becoming a shambles & you've been working on your own yet again then to get your mother telling you the cat doesnt seem right at around 7.20am adding another thing for what the hell is happening.

Friday was in fact my last Friday I ever do as for some reason I still dont get its no longer running, maybe because of the 1pm closure. Something tells me when I'm back at uni in about a weeks time or so, and Friday does in fact end up being my day off for there then I simply have to tell them I'm out of the job if thats the case because there's nothing else I can do. I'm hoping if I say that though they seriously consider opening Fridays again.

I've just been looking through my timetable again for uni and, although most of the lectures aren't in fact until 1pm, thats still a rush from finishing work and getting to uni in time for the lecture. Tuesday is probably the most ideal day because there isn't anything until 5pm but other than lectures I need to see how the practical sessions go as I'm certain I'll change them around especially to tie them in between doing them with my friends. I dont exactly want to do practical sessions if I dont properly know the people. Its just a matter of going through things at work next week.

So after coming back home on Friday I gradually became a bit more relieved, just as I assumed my cat turned out to be fine, its just unfortunate my mum had to be so hasty about it during that time in the morning but I still would had felt like crap on that day anyway. I think it hits me more as well when I have to be there on my own trying to explain to people the course & not trying to put them off from joining only to then get them to come in sometime during the week when my workmate is there - even then thats a risk in case he has to go off again. I dont mind him doing what he has to do because I'm ok for explaining certain things, but I end up telling potential paying students to ask him when he comes back anyway. Its just a pain not knowing & I'll be pleased when I can only do this once a week again as it'll become a burden on me otherwise.

Why does that always happen to me with jobs? I always feel like as if every job I've had the majority of the time I work is on my own, and thats usually the time when things begin to fall flat on its face. Its such a pain, I'd love to think we can prevail through this but I'm not so sure this time & I think it can only get worse once I'm not there as often. Maybe I shouldnt worry, ideally I just want to go back to uni now & not have to worry whats happening at that place as its going to slip out of my hands anyway so maybe I shouldn't be caring & just wait for the main day when they make me redundant.

Is this the beginning of the end again for me?

I think I have a preminition of bad things to come for me for the rest of this year and its probably the beginning of it for events to get worse next year.

This morning my mum is becoming doubtful about the behaviour of our cat so I think she booked an appointment for her, whether the cat is already dead I have no idea. I didn't honestly see anything wrong with her, she isn't behaving in the same way like how my other cat did. If something does happen this will be 10 months between our other cat from dying which then leaves us with no cats left. I cant complain as she had a good run & I'm pleased with the fact that I had time with her while I was on my own.

Also the work business is bothering me still as this is my last Friday & I may possibly not be doing Wednesdays any more and I've still yet to start university until 2 weeks so I think I'm pretty much screwed for what day I can work. I have a lecture for every single day & I cant possibly understand what will happen especially as their taking days away from here.

So with a cat *possibly* dying and with me losing the first ideal job of my life and not feeling too hopeful with university for year two as I know I wont do as well as last year especially if I'm swampted with programming or complicated stuff. I think 2007 will go from bad to worse and I just know this is only the beginning of things to come. I cant believe I'm going to have to resort to being jobless again not finding part time jobs to fit me. I'd like to think the college will have something else but lets me honest I cant see that happening.

For now lets just see how much worse this month can bring.....

The joys of [Adult Swim]

I may be a bit late doing this now but I discovered this when I was in Vegas the night we were there. I found it when Family Guy was on & then I carried on watching for that evening. Then it hit me when I saw the show "The Boondocks" and it seemed very unusual with what this show was showing.

So after Vegas I was talking about it with Joz & Emily but I totally forgot the name of the whole thing (now I know its obviously [Adult Swim]) and I basically explained it to them.

Then once I come back to England I discover that they have it on the Bravo channel over here! I think it may had started about 2 months back maybe so it hasn't been very long yet in the US its been going for a few good years now surprisingly. The irony I find is how I discover the thing there & then of all the time it could had been on here in England, it comes on around then. The whole thing has left me hooked. I always try to watch it every night at midnight on Bravo. It also gave me the chance to see Robot Chicken which I saw mentioned on PlayUSA & it sounded interesting with the concept of animation with toys. Now to me thats pure gold as to hear that you know it has to be something good especially with stop motion animation - one of my favourite styles of animation.

Luckily I found some torrents of proper DVD rips so that saves me from having to buy the imports ;) . Unfortunately since getting the Robot Chicken DVD its pretty much watching the same stuff on Bravo now as I've seen all there is to offer even though its a great show. Now I'm getting Aqua Teen Hunger Force which I love. I'm currently downloading volume 3 of the DVD's although before I know it the same fate will happen to me just like Robot Chicken in that I would had seen them all & not really watch them on Bravo again. We'll see though as they seem to be adding different shows now so it wouldn't surprise me if before long they have the same line-ups like in America as stuff like The Boondocks hasn't been on here yet & I only saw some of it. I hpe Bravo keep it though. I dont get why its not on our Cartoon Network though.

....ok...yeah...so....as you can tell I have nothing to d as per usual & I'm trying really hard not to use the head phones too often especially when there's prying eyes from the main college students, well not many but I'm certain they tend to look. I want to talk about something.....especially since it makes me look like I'm busy working on something.

OH I do have those other thoughts I had when in LA I wanted to do as posts so I'll start off with those........

About last night

So last night was a little interesting, like I said previously in one other post I haven't really seen Jessica in about 2 weeks which is rare. Actually its the first time its happened so far. My late evenings seem to be becoming less so that was another reason I never saw her. So gradually by late last week it gets to that moment where I tend to forget about things bothering me and I become so over it which actually helps as I dont become so edgy about it.

Well anyway I finally saw her last night, she came online about 8pm my time (about 2pm her time in Austin, Texas) which is another rare time to see her on. For me its ideal as thats the sort of time I settle down to be online for the rest of the evening and an easier chance to talk rather than feeling really tired about 4 hours later. So I was going through my little things not really waiting on her much until she answered. Yet last night felt really good, and I'm still feeling the after effects of it. Its times like that I wish would happen more, my only guess would be that since we hadn't spoken in that period, there's some stuff to talk about or more enthusiasm. Whereas with our daily talks it became less and less. Regardless I cant see myself seeing her everyday as much now due to work and then university again in 2 weeks time.

Remember the Birthday gift thing I became so conspicuous about? Well she asked me about that as obviously I told her it never came. So she revealed what it was - basically it was a framed collage of me & her when I went to visit with a poem next to it. Suffice to say I was really surprised as I didnt think she would had done anything like that. Unfortunately though I'll never see the light of day for it and I never get why this always happens when she sends gifts especially on my Birthday. I'd love to had known what it actualy looked like or whether it looks as good as it sounds. I never really expected her to do anything like that. I can only hope still she can prove herself by coming to see me and if that ever does happen, then I'll forgive all of the mistakes she ever did prior when I've felt let down. To me this is the ultimate test to prove herself and to come all the way across the ocean to my little land for once. I did it for her, the least she can still do is the same for me, I'm still not expecting much out of it though.....

My work, cause for concern - how long will it last?

Every time my workmate seems to mention about the way things are going with this place I cant help but wonder how long we actually have got. As of yet we are ok & there's no sudden death mentioned, but its the preminition of when it will happen especially since we only have about 2 or 3 students that have paid in total. He even says dont expect anything after this year which to me is a rather bleak future for me next year. I can tell this will heavily effect me because this job is so ideal and it means its my second job so far that hasn't lasted longer than a year. Actually scratch that as its a year and a few months or so.

I know its going to be hard trying to follow up from a job like this. I dont have an ideal job in mind as yet except for something similar along the lines like this, and I guess the work placement thing next year may help as I'll still have to take it no doubt. But that may be of benefit especially if it means by then I'm no longer here because of what happened.

I didnt massively fear it at first as ok yes sooner or later its inevitable what will happen here or something else takes it over. But other than that it shouldn't happen this soon as I'm realy beginning to wonder what will happen. Maybe its just the panic with how slow we've started, I can only hope something well does come out of this. If this was still free, then nothing would had changed for students or anything else changing for that matter & it would had felt like a continuation from the end of July. Blame the government funding.

Things at present

I'm currently trying not to be careful getting carried away watching YouTube at work as I think the main 'manager' who's part of the college had a word with my workmate boss about it. Its nothing major, just that according to her its the "unprofessional look", and I guess to a point that does make sense. I did wonder as I think I have gotten carried away with it, I dont think its put people off. Bah anyway I'm not bothered, I just have to be careful thats all.

In other news at least I can come back home now knowing that my mum is able to sort stuff out. I feel I did ok on my own thankfully I did cope & it didnt get to me either as I expected, but it was other house annoyances that needed attention in the end. Us men can only clean a certain amount until we reach our limits or the stuff we're only able to do . As in my case it was only the washing up and the washing machine....*ahem*.

The return & things resolved

So first off my mum & grandmother are finally back. It was a bit of a hectic evening once they came back though as my cousin brought them back in which she had her children with her as well so before I knew it I was trying to do 101 things while trying to eat fish n' chips at the same time.

My mum bought a DVD camcorder which lets you record straight onto those mini DVD-R discs before she left for the holiday as she didn't want the hassle of having to transfer everything to DVD instead so she thought why not buy the ones that go straight to DVD anyway.

She thought they could be played straight away, the only thing she needed to finish off with them was finalising them so that was a further rush almost.

Also I managed to get the Sky+ sorted, I got my mum to call Sky regarding the problem in which I then described the problem. He simply told me to unplug the box via the mains and then wait 60 seconds once it was put back in. As soon as he mentioned that bit I switched it back on as he continued saying what to do. Then he said to press the TV button & then the Sky button which should bring it back up. Well lo and behold it actually worked. The only difference I never did was switch it on via the remote with the SKY button and aslthough I'm very thankful it worked I cant help but wonder what difference it would had made if I did it exactly as that. Because I'm not sure whether he actually did anything on his end as he asked for the details etc of our home and said something about whether a signal was being picked up in to which he said it was.

I still think it could had been possible he did something, I just hope this box stays without fucking up. Just goes to show that unfortunately those Digital Spy forums weren't all that reliable but I guess I should rely on that Sky hotline rather than those other methods for next time. It should be ok with any luck this time round.

Urgh final day AT LAST!

Its weird how I haven't felt the need to do any blog posts, and yet I almost did do a post at work today but I got slightly side tracked & didnt really see the point anyway. Tonight's an exception though as not only has my Sky+ box finally decided to pack up on me (happened last night) but my mum comes back from Greece tomorrow. As far as I know I'm only at work until 2pm tomorrow, ah and I just remembered what my work post would had been about - me working until 5pm today which I was basically going to say about that and how I was going to feel. Regardless I was fine & oddly enough I didnt go insane from the length of time like I usually do when I do the 5pm days.

Anyway I digress as usual, so yeah she comes back around 3pm from what she mentioned but in that case that might actually mean 6pm if thats when the plane lands. Although I'm making a total prediction that she wont be back until 7pm in fact, I just have that hitch. I suppose I am somewhat relieved now as the main other things need doing like stuff for her & letters etc not to mention my new problem now with the Sky+ box which I need to know how to work around this. I've already been on the Digital Spy forums about it which I've had one reply post back from it and it was helpful. Unfortunately the methods given didnt work so now I'm wondering if I need a new damn box or not. I'm not really bothered about losing all of my recordings as I was VERY lucky in getting those Mario encodings done in time. I reckon thats what partly caused it
to corrupt in the first place. I'm still not sure why though, my only guess is that since these were recorded technically a year ago is that it could had messed up the newer stuff added?

There was one particular Mario video I wasn't able to access and it made the box freeze up which meant having to unplug it. In the end after checking again I had to delete it as it had to be corrupt for certain yet it said on there it had been viewed before so I have no idea. Then after one of those unplugged box moments occured I had to actually restore the Sky planner as it was telling me there it wasn't able to record. Luckily the forums cleared that up for me again. I think I did mention this a few days ago in fact. So I think since those incidents its lead to the inevitable 'death' of my box. My only insecure conclusion to this all is whether the box simply needs a new hard drive or a whole new box. I'm hoping someone does reply to the thread by tomorrow with what I've asked.

End of a good evening

I liked the way I enjoyed this evening. For a start when I got back from work my DVD's arrived which I ordered from PlayUSA last week. I ordered Viewtiful Joe which I saw briefly in America & didn't realise the english translation was already out so I thought I'd check that out to add another video game cartoon to my collection. I also got the SEVENTH yes you saw correctly the 7th Pokémon movie which features Deoxys and Rayquaza. It is a bit much they still continue to make the movies but then again they go straight to video plus there's always enough legendary Pokémon to cover by now anyway, I mean just take a look at the 8th movie thats actually out fairly soon in fact, I was just hadn't got round to getting this one any sooner. But that 8th one features Mew again alongside a new creature from the new sequels that are coming on the DS, so with this 4th generation (I'm all numbers tonight aren't I?) there's going to be enough new legendary types to have at least a few more sequels along the way so expect at least 10 movies if not more depending.

So also this evening I opted to get some Chinese as my mum gave me the idea the night before to avoid having to cook the same bullshit. I'll leave all of that to the weekend as it wont be so bad now anyway. I've been able to rest my foot, enjoy a Pokémon movie I had yet to see and have Chinese while watching it, sheer bliss lol. At least the good thing with this weekend is that I know its not far off until they come back now.

One week on: How things have been

So at the moment at work I'm feeling pretty good and feeling good about myself etc so I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on how things have been since my mum left for Greece just over a week ago.

I'm pleased with how well I've coped, and I knew I would to an extent but I never realised how that it hasn't hit me in the way I thought I would had expected. Did I get any downers that I expected? Not really thankfully only other than having to put up with this damn foot pain halfway through the week and struggling to find more interestng food to cook other than cooking things in the oven with just chips.

Work really has preoccupied me as well which I knew would do but I didnt expect the whole week so thats still good. I finally managed to completely finish Killer 7 yesterday, I completed Killer 8 mode as well as Hopper 7 mode which is only the very first stage you play in which the Heaven Smiles are Grasshopper characters instead. Very pointless in a way. I didn't really get round to playing much of that this week either so even if I have no current games on my list, other things like encoding the Mario episodes are being done which I need to do again possibly today in order to finally clear up some space on the old Sky+.

Work has been very empty this week at work yet I havent been as irritated or as bored as I was during the summer, most likely because we've been finishing at 3pm all week. I kept contemplating yesterday morning whether I should had actually came into work because of the foot problems & even though I decided that I still wondered if it was worth it to go at all. But by that time I was mainly thinking about it at the bus stop so I already did a hard walk to get there & it would had only meant the same way coming back. Its about the same sort of today, it just feels like the pain has changed over or my foot has gotten used to the way I walk with it and its probably adjusted to it slightly. You're probably thinking"Just see a damn doctor already!" and yes you're probably right but since I'm on my own I'd rather go it my own way especially as I have the weekend to recover by. I go in about half an hour anyway and there is literally no one here. Because of the payment bullshit now we only have about 4 people that have paid but yet to start until next week. The very first person was today who left around 11.30am and since then I was having a very LONG talk with a previous person who used be here taking the course. It didn't really matter since it was so quiet for anyone to come and we talked about random stuff. Luckily it killed time and hence why I'm now just doing a blog just for a retrospect of how I've coped so far.

I went to bed a bit moody last night as I ended up looking at Jessica's MySpace profile to see where the hell she's been or what other people I have no idea of have been posting to her. I probably haven't spoken to her in at least 2 weeks I'm certain. It slightly bothers me as I like to at least hear from her, thats why I can see now why she sends me the odd message if I havent been around in a while. Well I did the same to her the other day & everytime I look at that profile I still cant help but feel bothered and I really think to myself why I get so annoyed. I think I just get this feeling of being left out as if she doesn't bother telling me anything in her life I feel. I'm not going into that again anyway as I looked back on two posts I did before I left LA & I got rid of them as its too much with swamping posts about my life with crap like that, its not worth it, and I just think it annoys people.

Anyway I'm not letting all of that business bother me again as I've miraculously recovered over night and have a fresh mind today so I'm just going to carry on with my business as usual when I get back home and if she's online tonight to talk to then fine.

Ouch! That really hurts!

By this afternoon I did wonder if I was better off staying at home for today. Not because of the tiredness or anything like that (thankfully I didn't have any today), but because of how my damn right foot has been playing me problems since Monday night as soon as I went to bed. I did in fact have this problem before back when I was working at Patientline. I dont remember what foot it was but basically I think I sprained my foot somehow and I originally thought it was broked as most of the pain was on top of my foot. This time I know for certain its nothing to do with broken bones as the main is on the side of my right foot and it feels like as if I pulled a muscle or something.

It really showed it today when I was walking back home and the pain was so damn unavoidable to walk with. Usually when you have some kind of foot pain or something you kind of find a method to avoid the painful area like you rearrange your walking method without making it look too obvious with the limp. I've been trying to relax it this evening and slightly limping around to avoid any more pressure. My mum said if it gets worse to see a doctor but I dont want that happening while she's away and I'm working fully now until I go back to uni in the next few weeks as far as I know. So its going to be awkward to try & get it to heal if possible apart from the weekend. When this last happened it took at least 2 weeks to fully recover. I'm not really sure how it occurred since I last remember feeling the after effect when I came back from the fair once I was in bed. Either that or it could had been how I run up the stairs as I reckon thats how it happened before. So its those 2 possibilities, although I dont see how the fair could had done it other than just normal walking. It was crowded but then it always is & I dont see what difference that would had made.

My only hope is that I dont want this lasting long and I have a feeling it wont fully recover by the morning but I can only hope it does otherwise its going to be a struggle to the bust stop in the morning and coming back the same way for two more days still.

Incompatibility issues - Things I discovered while in America

I was meaning to get round to doing this like I mentioned before and after doing the last entry, I realised I dont have anything else to do (correction - some YouTube catch up but I can go in & out of that while listening to it instead).

So it came to my attention while being there that when something can be played on a portable device like a GBA or a DS, it doesn't necessarily mean EVERYTHING is compatible. You may or may not be aware that Gameboy Advance's and DS's can in fact play any game from any country. For example even though my DS was purchased in England I could still buy a Japanese game and it would play on it. HOWEVER and this is the biggest surprise you might get as I didn't expect something like this to happen. If you have an England/European DS or GBA game and are trying to play against someone who has a US cart, dont expect them to communicate with each other via link cable or wireless in the DS's case. I had this problem when we tried playing Four Swords game on the Link To the Past GBA remake. Then on #spicechat night my copy of New Super Mario Bros wouldn't communicate with the others either so unfortunately I wasn't able to join in with the mini games. Having said that though, their still able to download data onto them if you have no games so thats no problem really.

I guess I dont have a main point to all of this except that this could be addressed a bit better as the only main point I always hear in regards to portable gaming devices is whether you can play other country games as well. Obviously this is important to know still but the subject as to WHETHER you can play against these people with different versions is another story.

Looks like an occupied week agfter all

I probably expected a bit too much that I would only be doing just the Monday & Tuesday of this week. As it turns out I'm doing the rest of the week which I wasn't sure about after how tired I felt this morning when I woke up. This was largely due to the fair last night.

Every year during the first Monday of September the fair comes to Oxford and runs for 3 days. This is also the period usually where school starts and everyone is going during that time, you always end up seeing someone you know there. So last night my friend called me around 7.30pm to see if I was up to anything as he got back from workand said our other friend wanted to go to the fair. To be honest even though I was in town that day because I was back at work I totally forgot about it and I never really planned to go there either. I've never really taken to the place, probably because the extremely loud noise has always been off putting to me. Yet somehow this year it wasn't too bad in some areas of the fair. We played House of the Dead 4 again there as well, but the weird thing was how different it seemed compared to the one I played with Joz in america. Thats why it confused me originally as to what one I played back at the Bowlplex not long ago. Well actually after seeing it in america I now realise it was due to the size of the screen & how well the graphics stood out on it. I mean they still do on the smaller screen too, but its not as effective, you really get the experience in size.

I got back home around 11pm which I didnt expect but I was glad I got to do that with them especially since I'm on my own & I have more freedom for what I can do (although obviously without fucking myself up ;) ). It really hit me for tiredness last night though, and I still felt it this morning. I wondered during work today whether it was worth doing Wednesday, but then I thought why the hell not as I have that chance & it kills the week better as I can do the rest of the week as well. I suppose its because I havent been used to this since the end of July & technically thats about a month or two since being off and what with the fair last night added further exhaustion. So yeah I will do the rest of this week as I'm working with my main manager throughout the week except for yesterday & Friday plus not much else is happening there this week because of enrolments and the lack of people etc.

My only annoyance is that I seem to have come to a dead end with the type of food I'm cooking. I like to cook around or just after 5pm as thats the time I've always been used to, and since I finish work all this week at 3pm I wanted to eat in town but thats too early for me and I know I'd only be hungry again later. So I may try and do it depending on what time we sort of finish because we did leave just after 2.30pm there today so I'm not entirely sure what to do. Either way I'll still continue with something at home but it just means having to make stuff from the oven again which is all too easy and it feels like too much of the same. I like having chips (fries) with food but I dont like having to keep cooking with them every day to go along side something else. I wanted to make taco's during the weekend provided I dont keep forgetting the salad I need at the supermarket in order to have it.

Urgh, its so annoying predicting but I'll have to see when I finish & what happens because ideally I would like to eat out afterwards. I think I have a certain amount of snacks at home to get throgh though so it should be ok and I just realised I can in fact get a baguette to take home later either free (hopefully) from my friend when he's working or the other place near my bus. Yeah, I think i may do that in fact.

The slightly irrelevant topic no.1

I suppose I called it the irrelevant topic as I cant thing of anything major to say and I wanted to do this for something for today.

I almost thought I lost everything on my damn Sky+ box today. I was getting ready to encode my next Mario episode until the episode I wanted to play back wouldn't do it for some reason. It sort of freezed the main menu on Sky+ and I ended up having to unplug it because it wouldn't respond, and even after that it wouldn't switch on straight away.

Then once after it came back up ok I tried again, same thing happens. Once I restart it for the second time my whole Sky+ menu system becomes messed up. I couldn't access the planner as it was telling me there was nothing on there. Then to add more insult to injury I tried to record a new program, which then told me it wasn't able to & to ring the number on screen. My first thoughts were of course thinking that I'd lost all of my recordings because of the sudden switch off possibly causing the hard drive to corrupt.

In the end it was all sorted thanks to the wonderful Digital Spy forums which always seem to have such topics on there. I noticed there was mention on there of some sort of planner refresh feature that you can do to the box under the hidden menu those bastards at Sky dont tell you about. I'm really pleased that worked otherwise that box would had been fucked. For now I'm avoiding that episode until I do the rest and have everything else I want from my other recordings before I want to go ahead with everything else.

I'm back at work tomorrow but I dont think much is happening just yet. I'm mainly just there to take enrolments and thats it so it should be quite a sweet deal tomorrow & simple as well because no lessons are starting. Actually everything will be pretty much the same as before except this time its just payments. Whether this will take off is anyones case as we seem pretty sceptical it wont go well. In my case that will mean I wont have that job for long unfortunately unless something miraculously happens. I really dont want to lose that job especially how much I love it. I'm not saying that it will go but since its a payment only thing now might mean its going to greatly effect the place. It's just great to know you have a job like that during the university period especially when you have to pay for university fees etc.

From the archive (unseen): Texas Diary from 2004

Ok so I mentioned a while ago that I would post up the old Texas diary I wrote after coming back from there and trying to do it in the same way as I did with the LA diary in that I was struggling to remember what I actually did day by day. Except the only difference I did this for Angie Hung's old babble board to save me from swamping her board with a big ass holiday visit post. This will give you an idea of what I did there two years ago:-

Michael’s Texas Diary

Saturday 7^th February – Day 1

Cutting to the chase once I arrived in Austin we were waiting at the airport to see where Trey was. We didn’t have to wait for long, maybe about 10 or 15 minutes but it got us trying to get used to the surroundings of the whole place anyway. The only thing Trey told me was that he would be wearing a number “7” on his shirt. Little did I figure that out until I got there when I spotted someone wearing a Man Utd shirt and it was only then it clicked with me that it was reference to Beckham’s shirt. So he started walking up to us and gradually it was then I figured out it was Trey. He looks younger than he does in his other photos I must admit but he reminds me so much of Quentin Tarrantino lol. As soon as we stepped out of the airport my first query was where Jessica’s apartment was (typical of me). The way Jessica told me how close she was to the airport literally gave me the idea that she was near the actual airport grounds. After going outside though there was no way we could walk there as it was literally a highway and obviously you needed transport to get there. Unfortunately we never ended up going anywhere near there during the whole course of the holiday so I have no idea what the whole area or place was like.

So we got into Trey’s fancy sports car-esque car which had little space but thankfully we only had 1 suitcase. My mum sat in the back and I sat in the passenger’s seat with very little room to move about making my head just about touching the window screen. We had quite a talk during the journey towards our destination of the hotel, which was when we discovered how cheap ass the hotel looked. It reminded me of those sleazy hotels that you see in films then you have a feeling someone next door is breaking the law in some way like planning some major drug heist. Thankfully it wasn’t that bad but it was one of those type of hotels that aren’t really the typical standard of hotels if you get what I mean. So we talked for a while at the room with Trey and then he took me around Austin itself through the roadways and then to his place. His collection of Spice Girls stuff is VAST. I mean I knew he had much more than me but his stuff is definitely impressive. Especially with how much other stuff he collects, which reminded me of what I do lol. After a while it was around 10pm I think it was and according to the English time on my watch was either 4 or 5am and my tiredness really started to kick in by then so we headed off back to the hotel and called it a day.

Sunday 8^th February – Day 2

The morning was a bit unusual trying to adjust but it wasn’t too bad and I ended up waking up just after 8am. The so called continental breakfast as stated on the website was only a few doughnuts and that’s about it, and it was like that for the rest of the holiday unfortunately. We ended up accepting it but even so it was still bad having to do that for every morning. After we felt ready to leave the room we looked around our surroundings and I needed to call Jessica to let her know I had arrived safe and well since she asked me to on the Friday before we left and of course it was only fair to. Unfortunately Austin isn’t really that type of place where you can simply go into the town or visit anywhere near by. Everything is pretty much spread about so if you don’t have the means of transport then you’re quite buggered as to do or find anything. Our hotel was literally outside a highway and although there was a path to walk on it didn’t really make much difference as if you went further on the highway more unless merged and making it impossible to walk across the road to go to other places. So after looking around our surroundings we decided to eat at a little Mexican café that was on the hotel grounds. I had some sort of chicken dish although it didn’t exactly look like chicken, it was more grey coloured and looked like it was in breadcrumbs and them the whole plate was covered in some weird sauce which looked much like tar tar sauce.

My mum had a shrimp dish which was what I was going to have but after seeing what I had we swapped plates so I had hers. Oh and one thing I found interesting was how they first gave us nacho’s for starters even though we never asked for it which was cool. After our meal we headed back to our room until Trey was ready to see us as he had to see a friend that day but only until 3pm or so, then I think I went to his again and went online but I cant remember what I did much now. After that towards the evening we were a bit hungry and as you do in America…you head to McDonalds. Of course it was only for curiosity as to see what differences there were and it was by far better than what the UK has, especially with how you can keep refilling your drink whenever. Then after that it was getting late and Trey headed off home after dropping us back to our hotel and that was the end of another day.

Monday 9^th February – Day 3

Today was the day I was waiting all along, the day I meet Jessica! From the days before we got an idea of what to do today until Jessica came to the hotel that evening to keep us occupied for the day. We decided to go to the mall nearest from here called the Highland Mall which was in fact the mall Jessica used to work at until she changed her job recently. At the time I wasn’t aware if this was the mall she was currently at or not. They had some really good stuff there including a toy shop with toys they never had in England. One thing that caught my eye though was next to the toy shop was a closed down store which was only displaying products in the window, the rest of it was blacked out. It was then that I had a feeling it was Jessica’s old Sam Goody store she left a few months back. We looked around the mall for a while and I was amazed by this phenomena known as the “food court” which as you can probably tell we don’t really have in England, at least not that I’m aware of. I couldn’t believe the variety they had there, from Spanish to Mexican to Chinese and Japanese. It was really nice food, it’s a shame they don’t have anything like it in England with our shopping centres (malls). So after a while after a good look around we left, we decided that anything we wanted we would buy at the last minute like the last few days before we go. Thankfully because we weren’t far off from our hotel the taxi only cost $4 to get back. One annoying thing on this day was the beginning of the bad weather which would carry on for the rest of the week. When we were waiting for the taxi outside the mall all it did was rain.

For most of that day (or at least after going to the mall) we just stayed at the hotel to watch TV and get prepared for Jessica to come that evening. I got a call from her around 7pm or so letting us know when she was coming round with her friend since her friend was her only ride to take her but first off she needed to wait for her friend to arrive and then she needed a shower so as soon as I heard that I knew her friend would take a while. Surprisingly they didn’t arrive until around 9pm and it was because they got lost finding the hotel, which I expected would happen. It was such agony waiting for them though, especially as it didn’t help when my mum kept peering through the window thinking that every car that came around the corner was them, urgh. Then finally my mum saw a car that parked near our door and two girls came out, from how my mum described them I knew it was obviously them. So I waited until they knocked the door, I opened it and there she was….Jessica! She was wearing a turquoise coat and as soon as I saw her I knew that was the girl I waited for so long to meet. She put her arms around me and we stood like that for a minute then we went back into our normal positions again. She did look a little different than she did in her photos, not drastically though as you still knew it was her. The only problem with Jessica’s photos was that with every one I had got, she always looked slightly different in them. You could still tell it was her with the long brunette hair and with her eyes. That was another thing that I first noticed on her, she had these amazing eyes, and they really stood out and looked big. She had a lot of dark makeup around them which was probably why they stood out so much but she still looked amazing to me. I shook hands with her friend Michelle, Michelle was a slightly big girl, but nothing massive. I’ve got a picture of Jessica from Halloween 2001 with Michelle on it in which she looked a bit bigger than she actually does in person. I didn’t know much about her except that Jessica sometimes mentioned her every now and again and that she was Jessica’s best friend, but that’s about all.

My biggest disappointment though was almost straight away she looked and talked to my mum rather than me and it went like that for the rest of the evening. She looked at me every now and again but that didn’t really help much unfortunately. Her friend was cool, at least when she talked she looked at us all. Jessica definitely came across a bit more different than how I expected, she seemed more open and communicative on the phone yet in person she was like this party girl always talking to her friend. I can’t really describe what type of person she reminded me of, the only term I could think of at the time was “Valley Girl” for some reason but she wasn’t anything like a “Valley Girl”, I guess it was because of how much girly talk she was making. So most of the time all she did was constantly talk and make conversation between my mum and her friend, and me talking every now and again. I honestly did want to say stuff, but with how everything was done I felt I couldn’t say a word in edgeways and most of the topics they talked about were stuff I wasn’t even interested in. The atmosphere wasn’t quite right. So around nearly 11pm I think it was they had to go, I gave Jessica her gift which was Victoria’s book which I had kept for her for quite a while now but never really had the chance to send it off especially for postage costs.

After they went my only thoughts were that of disappointment, although not disappointment at her, but rather disappointment at myself. I knew to myself that she wouldn’t want to see me again and I felt I didn’t give her a good impression especially as I hardly said anything. She told me before she left that she would call me as soon as she got back home. So as soon as she called when she got back I told her how I felt I let her down. Thankfully she said she wasn’t and was really happy she saw me, I think she was just mainly surprised at how quiet I was and she said how taken back she was by it all. I think she probably kept expecting something from me after how much I expressed my feelings to her with the phone calls and so I guess when she saw me in person she was taken back by it all. I reckon she finally figured out how real this all was and was taken back by the sudden reality. Thankfully it wasn’t that of regret or of disappointment, but maybe just of realising it finally happened. Even though she told me how happy she was to see me on the phone I found it hard to sleep that night and all I could think of was that everything just fell apart and I felt I lost everything I felt I achieved with her.

Tuesday 10^th February – Day 4

I gradually just about managed to sleep for the rest of that night but every time I woke up in the middle of the night the thoughts of Monday night kept flooding back to me. Every morning when I was in Austin I kept waking up at 5am since it was 11am English time which I got used to. Thankfully I always made myself go back to sleep though so it wasn’t a major problem. Tuesday morning though was an awkward time since the whole Jessica thing kept coming back when I opened my eyes at 5am. I think the rest of that sleep ended up being the half thinking-half struggling trying to sleep type of sleep until it was around 8am, so I thought hell I might as well get up.

By the time we ate our morning dose of doughnuts we decided to head off for a walk to a place called IHop which is sort of around the corner from the hotel but about a 15-20 minute walk. Unfortunately it was raining quite a bit, but it didn’t stop us from going there and it wasn’t like we were up to much for that day so far so why not do something. It’s one of those pancake type of places except obviously you can have more than just simple pancakes. We had this special meal deal which had bacon, egg, sausages and hash brown and with unlimited pancakes. So say you finished your pancakes they would give you some more until you had enough, all you can eat pancakes is the best way of putting it.

After a while once we were full we went back to our hotel. I can’t say we really did much on that day especially as it was raining and we had in mind to go to the other malls around Austin tomorrow or later in the week. That evening towards 5pm I did the usual in waiting to see if Trey was up to anything and went over to his again until late in the evening.

Wednesday 11^th February – Day 5

Today was Jessica’s Birthday and we wanted to go to some of the other malls around the area other than Highland Mall since we already went there and it was the nearest so going on a journey to one of the others would at least extend our day a little. Since it was Jessica’s Birthday I wanted to go to the mall she worked at and just give her a little surprise Happy Birthday and just to say hello even if she was busy it was just the nice thing to do. Unfortunately I didn’t remember what mall she worked at, the second nearest mall from where we were after Highland was Barton Creek mall. However there was even another one which was the furthest out called the Lakeline Mall. She did say what one she worked at on Monday, but at the time I had no idea of what the other ones were called and I only knew of Highland. My mum suggested Barton Creek (which would have been easier) but for some odd reason I had my heart set on Lakeline. I asked Trey the day before about it and he said it was the furthest one out and going by taxi would probably cost around $20. Besides, we would go to Barton Creek on Thursday so it wasn’t anything major for what we would do.

We knew it would be costly but we had nothing to lose and it was good for a journey and to see what the other malls had to offer. We had a good look around to see what there was. Most of the shops were pretty much the same as what Highland had except this mall was bigger and had did have other shops Highland never had. So after looking around the area and seeing where everything was we decided to look for the store Jessica worked at. The only thing that I knew was she worked at a video only store which had nothing to do with music. The only place that was the closest to that description was a place called Suncoast which sold DVD’s and videos as well as movie memorabilia. There was one in Highland as well and I remember the first time going to that store there thinking if it was the type of store she worked at as it was the only store that doesn’t sell music. So anyway we went in and asked the store clerk there if a Jessica worked here. They said they had no one of that name but they knew of a Jessica working at the Barton Creek store. My first sign of surprise was that of “ah” and they said that they could call that store to check if I wanted but I said no as at least I knew what store it was now and this wasn’t it. I remember a customer asking me “did you travel here from the south” since Lakeline was north from our hotel, and I said yes and they seemed quite surprised. I didn’t mind though, we came for the journey and to see other things although I did feel a little bummed.

My main annoyance was that I should have listened to my mum as she suggested Barton Creek from the start but I felt so certain of Lakeline for some reason. I guess it was because it was the most ‘restricted’ for us to go to because it was so far away otherwise if we never of went I think I still would of felt unsatisfied so I like to try everything otherwise I’m always thinking “what if….”. We decided to still carry on looking around that mall while we were still there and we didn’t have enough to pay the taxi driver so we really needed to change our traveller’s cheques as they were becoming a bit of a pain than of an advantage. While I was there I found this amazing videogame store which sold old console games like NES, SNES, Atari, Sega etc as well as current games. I managed to find this really cool Zelda scroll which is like a poster except that it’s easier to put up and pack away when needed and is made of a certain fabric.

Even though I knew it wasn’t a waste coming to this mall and then Jessica not being there I still wanted to check out Barton Creek. I mean we were still going to go back to the hotel early as it was around 2pm and we nearly did everything we wanted especially as we were already out so we thought we might as well make the most of it, it would put my mind at rest as well, thankfully my mum didn’t seem to mind. So after a while we decided to book a taxi and off to the Barton Creek mall. Even though we were already planning to go there tomorrow this was only for a brief visit, especially as I knew what the place was she works at now.

I said to my mum this time that even if she’s not here it doesn’t matter, we still came for the journey and to get an idea of the whole place. Well she did work at this one alright, except she left at midday! They told me she left early and that her father picked her up and they also mentioned if I was the guy who went to Lakeline to find her as they said someone from that store rang this store to tell them I came to visit. I do remember Jessica telling me on Monday about her father wanting to take her out for the day, except I had no recollection of what day it was as I don’t remember her saying what day it was. Even before I told her I was coming to Texas she told me she would be working that day doing some sort inventory thing, so I was expecting her to be doing that all day. I can’t say I was mad or disappointed as I expected something to happen in some way when I got there. I think I just kind of expect it with Jessica now. I know I shouldn’t tolerate it but I just accept it and see what happens. It doesn’t bother me much either way, well it doesn’t get to me in the sense that it bothers me for a long time, I’ll probably think about it for a while and just move on.

So like the other malls we carried on looking around and I can see now why these malls have the same places since each mall is really specific to certain areas of Austin and why most places are so far away from each other. In England it’s usually the case of discovering a shop that your town doesn’t have and going to other towns and almost being in a whole new place even though you’re still in the same country. One thing Barton Creek had which the other two didn’t was that it had its own movie theatre. We didn’t go especially as there wasn’t anything of interest to see. After a while looking around and being satisfied we decided to give Trey a call to see if he could pick us up. Unfortunately he had to stay behind at work because his boss and other bosses were having this odd wine thing going on which I guess was a general meeting and he couldn’t go until late. I told him I was there but obviously we couldn’t wait for him until he was done as we had no idea when he would be done so we had to actually get the taxi again to finally head back to the hotel.

At least with the day we were out nearly all day and got back around 4pm which is pretty good going and I felt satisfied with it even if not all of it went to plan, but we got a few things along the way so that was the main thing and I got an idea of the 3 main malls around the Austin area. I think it may have been around 7pm that Trey called us at the hotel to tell us that he finished with his meeting thing that was going on and I asked if he was alright to come over in which he was. I felt it was too late to go over his and I preferred if he stayed over at our hotel room for a while, he was alright with it which was cool. We mainly talked and watched TV for a while as I told him what we had been up to that day. He left after 10pm and we decided to call it a day shortly after that as well.

Thursday 12^th February – Day 6

So after the events of yesterday we had a slight loss in money, not drastically but it meant we had to be a bit more careful with what we had to get from now on. As mentioned before we did plan to go to Barton Creek today, although coming back on the taxi yesterday seemed to cost the same amount it did for Lakeline. Oddly enough that partly put me off from going to Barton Creek today which surprised my mum. It had nothing to do with Jessica as we did like Barton Creek but the cost and the fact I couldn’t be bothered to go played a bit of an influence on that, so we opted for the Highland Mall again. Our original plan was to go to Highland on Friday as we agreed to buy stuff at the last minute with what remaining money we had left to spend and then on Saturday we would just stay at the hotel and concentrate on packing. But since we didn’t bother with Barton Creek we had to opt for Highland once again as well as going again on Friday although on this day we simply looked around again since this was our second visit to the place and this time we were a bit more thorough looking around. After another good look around for a while we headed on back to the hotel again. I don’t think we did much on that day, just visited the mall & I went over to Trey’s again for the evening. Jessica usually called in the evenings or sometimes I would miss her because I would be at Trey’s, not that it would matter much though.

Friday 13^th February – Day 7

I got a call early in the morning around 7.30am from Jessica telling me that she was unsure if she would be able to come in the evening as it looked like it was going to snow in Austin and the news reports were going berserk over how it was going to cause major accidents etc. So as soon as she told me that I knew it would be very doubtful she would come that evening. So much for seeing her again for the rest of the holiday then. I didn’t really care anymore though, I just let her do what she wanted and we carry on with what we had planned for the rest of the day. I did in fact ask Trey what he was up to that evening if Jessica came round as I knew she would bring her friend Michelle again and it would be just a repeat situation like how Monday was with the constant conversations. At least if Trey was there he could get a general idea of what it was like and it would be an extra person to add something different to the conversations all the time. Unfortunately Trey was off to a hockey game that night and I was still unsure as to if Jessica would still turn up or not so either way it would be an evening in for once. So anyway shortly before midday we decided to head off to Highland mall for one final time to do our shopping for gifts and such alike. I still had to end up drawing money from the ATM machine and buying some of my stuff with my debit card but I was pleased by how my card got accepted as it was my first ever time I tried something like that abroad. Out of all the places I would of tried it, I never would of expected America to be the first place just because we were very far away from England and we would have been stuck if anything declined. I always wanted to try it in Greece one time as at least that’s Europe and if anything went wrong I wouldn’t have been as bothered as we were still close enough to England.

Anyway my first port of call as I always do was to buy a few things at the typical videogame stores. They had an Electronics’ Boutique store there but we already had that in England and it doesn’t even go by that name anymore but I went for another one at the mall called Gamestop which seemed to be far better with what they had to offer. I got a few things, not games though as I felt that would be too much so I opted for some Mario Bros. 3 E-reader cards and I found this really cool mini Mario kart radio controller of Yoshi. At the toy store I looked at last time I had my eyes on a Megaman toy and a Pokémon figure which I ended up getting this time round. I was quite surprised to find them as they don’t really have stuff like that in England or I would have to get them via the internet and pay a tonne of postage costs for them on top of the price tag for it. My mum got a handbag and a few other women-type things at this department store finding stuff to get for herself as well as for my grandmother.

After a few hours we were all sorted out and we headed back to the hotel and I was checking out the stuff I got for most of the time as we decided to stay in for that evening. Especially as I wasn’t sure if Jessica was still coming or not and what with the snow approaching it wasn’t worth doing anything else considering so far I never really had the chance to check out TV in the evening as well. I think it must have been around 7.30-8pm that Jessica called bringing the obvious news what I was expecting in that she wasn’t coming and that the weather was getting worse, even the local news was making a major hoo-ha about it. Heck, England gets far worse than this and yet in Austin this was like a major life threatening hazard, at least they were concerned for people’s safety but of course for a country like that they don’t have the necessary equipment to prepare themselves for it since something like snow is so rare for them.

So Jessica told me she wasn’t coming as I knew and I told her that and I was just mainly in silence as I didn’t really have nothing to say and I didn’t feel at all impressed by it even though I knew she could do nothing about it because of the obvious reasons. Without going too much into it, we ended up in a conversation about each other and how she feels about me and how I do about her which became quite a discussion of emotions and with me explaining my other reasons for coming until gradually we let it out of our systems and became close again and both feeling satisfied in the end thankfully. She told me she’ll try her best to come tomorrow although at least now my head was more clear and relaxed that it wouldn’t bother me if she couldn’t come as she would have to come straight after work in the evening. So we both became at ease and I was very emotional (typical me) that we worked things out. I just carried on the evening as normal after the phone call and accepted it as that.

Saturday 14^th February – Day 8

Well, this was sure a definite turn out for the weather, it was sunny! I looked out the window and there was no sign of snow whatsoever, it seems like most of the snow came during the middle of the night and you could hardly see any snow on the roofs, maybe only a very small amount and that’s about all. Since today was technically the last true whole day there we decided to just stay in our hotel room as we had to start packing anyway. During lunchtime we decided to hop to the Mexican restaurant that was on the hotel grounds that we went to on Sunday just to get some chips (fries) to take back to our room, even though we ordered 2 portions they only looked like 1 annoyingly. Jessica called around the early afternoon from work on her lunch break saying happy Valentines Day to me, I remember how happy she sounded and she told me she would be coming around in the evening with Michelle taking her again although it would be around 10.30pm shortly after work which obviously I was pleased about. I didn’t care for the lateness, as long as I got to see her again was all I cared about. Trey was also working today although since it was the weekend he didn’t work for as long like the weekdays but it was strange how he never called us once he finished work. So I gave him a call, he seemed a bit busy and said he would be over there soon, which ended up being almost 2 hours or so, then I called again and he had his cell phone off so I didn’t have a clue what he was up to. After a while he rang back after getting my message on his cell phone and then he finally came over. By now it was slightly late in the evening, maybe like 7 or 8pm, we were also quite hungry so once again, we headed off to McDonalds. Since Trey didn’t have anything else planned for the evening and was with us I asked him if it was alright to be with me when Jessica comes since he still never met her and I though this was the perfect chance for the evening especially since he couldn’t on Friday and her friend was going to be with her again so if Trey was there maybe things would be a little different. So after being satisfied with our food we headed back to our hotel, by then it was around 9.30pm which gave us enough time to get prepared for when they arrived.

Luckily we was in when she called, it must have been around 10 o’clock when she called to say she was on her way so we just carried on talking and so on since we knew they would still take a while. After a while they arrived I opened the door and they came in and settled down as you do. Thankfully Jessica sat on my bed which finally got me the chance to sit next to her. This time round everything felt a bit more comfortable and since I was sitting next to Jessica she gave a bit more eye contact to me which I was a bit happier about. Most of the conversations we were talking about were mainly about Austin and with her growing up with her friends, Trey said a few things every once in a while, but it was good to have him around since he seemed to break the ice and to get a general idea of what she was like. Although he ended up leaving about halfway since he needed to get up early to see his friend attend a marathon and to also take us to the airport just before midday. I must admit I did feel a bit more relieved afterwards as it meant I could be a bit closer to Jessica and maybe talk about other things.

There was a moment where my mum started talking to Jessica’s friend Michelle and they were in their little conversation which was good as then it became just me and Jessica. She started by talking about her nails to see if they were alright and I looked at them and touched her hand to look at them like to make out I was looking on closer inspection to make some form of contact with her. I then said to her how I enjoyed our conversation on the phone last night in which she said me too. Then I started telling her how much she meant to me in which she said how I meant a lot to her too, then we sort of made little shy kiddie smiles to one another once we said it. That was unfortunately the only true close moment we had together but it really made me happy as I got to express to her in person how I felt about her and I felt it was better that I got the chance to say something than nothing at all. Because to me I did feel she was slightly different in person and saying something like that meant more to me as there was a lot I wanted to tell her in person but even saying something like that was enough to satisfy me, as long as she knew that I felt the same for her like I always have and I wanted her to know that I still felt the same way when I saw her physically as well. We posed for photos again except this time we all got involved with a group shot unfortunately Trey left too soon to have him as well which was what me and my mum wanted, but I don’t think Trey was all that fussed as he didn’t seem impressed with Jessica or her friend. I gave her late Birthday gifts to her as well as Birthday cards which she gave me a nice big hug after reading them, she opened her gifts until on her way home in which she called me back while in her friends car and saying how happy she was to get them.

So in conclusion I was SO happy that evening! I felt satisfaction rather than disappointment like I did on Monday. I just felt pleased that I got to say something a bit personal to her even though it wasn’t in the way I wanted or expected at least we had a quick moment. But I think overall we both felt good and since we knew what to expect this time. I called Trey’s mobile but it was off and I just left a message to tell him thanks for what he did and that I hope he wasn’t pissed off or anything from that night. By the time they left it was around 12.30am amazingly and at least this time I could get some sleep with the feeling of consent and happiness.

Sunday 15^th February – Day 9

The final day, the day to leave everything behind and to think back at what I achieved from a life changing week and a moment that would be in my life forever. We cleared the hotel room out with the last remaining things that needed putting back in the cases etc before we left at 12 noon. I gave Trey a call and a massive unfortunate moment was that Trey got into a little accident. While he was at this marathon event supporting his friend someone smashed into his car and drove off. This meant we were in a dilemma and I couldn’t get the chance to truly say goodbye to him and to thank him for everything that he did. Our only other option was to wait for him since he said he’ll try and be there in 20 minutes once he spoke to the police or we would have to make the choice that we would have to get a taxi. The only problem with that was we had less than $20 left so we would have to make a stop at the nearest ATM machine, wherever that was. Since we had no other choice and it wasn’t really fair on Trey to rush over with a damaged car without fully completing the business with the police. I rang him up again to tell him what we were doing, he happily agreed to it since that would at least be one thing off his back and we couldn’t really afford to waste time as it was nearly midday and if we did wait for Trey we knew he wouldn’t come on time. So I said my goodbye’s to him and thanked him for what he did and we ordered a taxi for the nearest ATM and then off to the airport.

Once we arrived at the airport we did all the business of going through the luggage procedures and so on until we arrived in the lobby area or whatever it’s called to wait until the gates opened to board. While we were there we decided to have a bite to eat with having just about enough to get something. The woman there actually did a favour for us by letting us have 2 cokes for the price of 1. I don’t remember the name of the place now but they did some really nice food, and their burgers were literally fresh from the grill since you had to wait until they called you, even their fries were definitely something else. Once we finished we headed off to the gate area to just sit around there until the actual time came when they were ready to open them. The plane was in fact already there but obviously it was being all sorted out with whatever was needed.

As I sat there I looked around and thought to myself how well last night went. I then began to think of how proud I was of what I achieved and that I finally went to Texas after all this long. My mind was just so positive and I felt it was a bit of a shame I was leaving, but I knew whatever would happen, nothing would bother me for this day as I knew I accomplished this week and felt things did go well. I really liked the Austin Bergstrom International Airport, there was something so nice and relaxing about it, I even felt that when I first arrived there once we were in Austin. Obviously it’s not a bit airport but you could at least relax and reflect back on stuff like with how I did. I killed most of my time on my Gameboy until the actual time came to board the plane. It was a similar shitty plane like before although this one seemed a bit more advanced but not by much and the flight going to Chicago was no different than the one going to Austin. All they served us every once in a while was drink and peanuts and that’s it.

Things got a bit worse though once we landed in Chicago, we had to wait until a gate was free before we could actually leave the plane which took at least over half an hour I believe. And since we were waiting for a connecting flight we ended up just missing it because of that damn delay. Luckily we only had to wait 3 hours for another flight to London Heathrow. By now of course we were hungry again and it was obvious we would want food again after waiting for 3 hours but at least we would be on the plane by then with food being served to us. We probably had around 4 or 5 dollars now and we thought we’d give the nearest McDonalds a try. Obviously since we were so short we would have to make do with a happy meal or something, but it would do the job at least for the time being. Rather than asking for a Happy Meal, my mum just asked the boy that served us what we could get for the amount we had. Then we said we wanted some McNuggets but the boy seemed to have some other things in mind. Rather than him giving us a kid’s meal he started giving us 10 McNuggets with 2 large fries and 2 large drinks. He did it as a favour to us and we just gave him our remaining money we had, we pleasantly surprised but we didn’t care since it wasn’t like McDonalds would lose business from it as it’s not like their a small company or anything especially being at that airport where literally everyone would visit to get something to eat at.

So we went to our gate to wait and had our food while we were watching CNN, they had some special NBA all-star playoff things and it had a mixture of stars and Arnold Schwarzenegger was there for the event since it was in LA I think. By the time we finished eating and watched the TV for a while sooner or later the gate was ready and off we went onto the plane. I was asleep for most of the flight and we had to sight right in the middle of one of those 5 seater seats, luckily from some form of fate I didn’t get to sit next to anybody so there was a free seat next to me, and then there was a guy who sat at the end, he was mainly asleep for most of the flight and we just shared that seat between us to place pillows or drinks on the food tray. This flight wasn’t as good as the one going there but like I said I slept through it so it wasn’t like it made any major difference. Actually by sleep I mean an attempt at properly sleeping but knowing I would never be able to get any full deep sleepiness. Anyway cutting to the chase we went through the whole usual business like we do once we got back at Heathrow with collecting our luggage and then getting the coach. My grandmother was awaiting our arrival once we finally arrived back in Oxford. By now it was just after 1pm and I was absolutely exhausted and tired from the whole thing and all I wanted to do was go back home safe and sound. By the time I got home and entered my room it suddenly hit me how lonely and depressed I suddenly got.

It was odd, normally when I usually got back from Greece it was nothing like this but this time round even though I managed to have a good sleep once I got back it was still hard to adjust to my surroundings. I felt slightly ill and my head just couldn’t settle with my surroundings, I knew this was my room just how I left it but something within me hadn’t settled yet. Gradually within the week I got into the surroundings a bit better and finally settled. Texas was a great experience for me and I would go again. At least now I know what to expect and to find a better hotel that’s better for certain access as well. There’s no way I regret going, it was one of the best moments of my life and if I had the chance to repeat that week all over again I definitely would. I just hope I do get the chance to see Jessica again and if I don’t, well I’m not all that fussed since she didn’t disappoint me, I only wished we had time to ourselves that’s all. Even if nothing worked out in the end I’d still go to Texas for Trey since he was always reliable and didn’t mind what we wanted to do which I was very thankful for.

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So yes that was how it went.Obviously this is going back now (can you believe its not far off 3 years?!) I still want to go to Austin again except now that I know how better LA was I'd rather fit it in within another trip if I could. My original plan for 2007 was to go there but I cant see that happening if I want to see Joz & emily still. Maybe it Trey wasn't able to come again we could sort a road trip there, now that I wouldn't mind. Either way I cant see Austin happening for another year now probably.